Inability To Get Motivated

Hmm…One half of me wants to change the colours of this theme, there is not enough contrast and I want something that stands out more. The other half is feeling too lazy, wants to lie in bed and just watch stupid stuff like Scrubs or Ugly Betty.

I guess it all boils down to my mood. I was feeling happy a week ago - cleaned my room, did all my washing, etc, now I just don’t know what to do with myself. I don’t want to do anything, and I feel very miserable. I got really upset at work yesterday and left early because I’d been away for a month and a new member of staff was making me feel like I didn’t know anything, and was being very pedantic about the meals I was cooking - taking the piss really. I feel that on the one hand I am strong, I know what I want and I always get it, but then really, on the other hand I just can’t be bothered and let people get away with making me feel like shit. (Wow, there’s a lot of swearing here today…)

James, my boyfriend has now gone home because I was sulking about him staying in bed all day. He got up around 3 in the afternoon, then went home. I’d been up since about 1pm and sat around bored waiting for him to get up. I feel bad for having a go at him, but maybe he should realise that it makes me feel angry that he gets up, eats my food but then doesn’t want my company for the rest of the day, and would rarther talk on the phone to his new friend, very worrying actually. This guy keeps giving him presents. (Including porn, cigarettes, & a jumper) I am sure they are lovers? Ah well.

So I think instead of changing the colour scheme, I am going to sit here, feeling sorry for myself, watching stupid tv and contemplating dinner…mmm pasta.

A Little Rant